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Por mucho que Skoda se haya esforzado con el brillante y muy recomendable Scala, la llegada del nuevo ‘SUV’ urbano Kamiq será, sin duda, el lanzamiento más importante de la frenética ofensiva de producto de la marca checa, al menos en nuestro mercado. Primero porque es el segundo segmento más importante del mercado español y el que más crece –posiblemente acceda al liderato ya el año que viene- y segundo porque les ha salido un coche realmente excelente y muy atractivo La receta empleada es tan brillante como la utilizada en el Scala, partiendo de la excelente plataforma compacta del Grupo Volkswagen –compartida con los Seat Arona e Ibiza, los Audi A1 o el mismo Skoda Scala-. Se ha estirado al máximo la distancia entre ejes, colocando las ruedas en sus extremos y, con 2,65 metros de longitud entre ellas, superior incluso a la de su hermano mayor el Karoq, han conseguido que, pese a su compacidad –mide 4, 24 metros de longitud total-, el espacio interior sea propio de coches más grandes. Las plazas traseras son muy espaciosas, todo ello con un maletero de 400 litros de capacidad y formas muy regulares y aprovechables Valiéndose del excepcional banco de órganos del Grupo Volkswagen, Skoda propone tres motores de gasolina: dos tricilíndricos 1.0 TSI con 95 0 115 cv y un 1.5 TSI con 150 cv; una única versión diésel, el 1.6 TDI de 115 cv y, a finales de año estará también disponible el 1.0 G-TEC con 90 cv, alimentado por el cada día más recomendable GNC (gas natural comprimido, no confundir con GLP, gas licuado del petróleo). Todas las versiones cuentan con caja manual de 6 velocidades –excepto el 95 cv de gasolina que es de 5-, mientras que los más potentes –diésel incluido- pueden optar por el automático DSG de 7 velocidades, excelente y recomendable opción ésta última que gana adeptos día a día. Se completa esta auténtica guinda del pastel de la gama ‘SUV’ del fabricante checo con cuatro completos y bien escalonados niveles de acabado (Active, Ambition, Style y Sport), plagados de detalles prácticos –paraguas en la puerta, papeleras en los laterales, linterna en el maletero, etc.- y que incorporan la última tecnología disponible en el grupo como el cuadro digital Virtual Cockpit, los faros de led, la cámara trasera, el sistema de conectividad Care Connect, etc En nuestra toma de contacto hemos podido rodar con el gasolina de 115 cv–previsiblemente el más demandado-, tanto con cambio manual, como con el DSG y nos ha gustado mucho su versatilidad, facilidad de manejo y rendimiento, si bien el cambio DSG resulta claramente más recomendable puesto que facilita extraer todo el potencial de un motor brillante, aunque algo perezoso a bajas vueltas. Así, resultó muy manejable en ciudad, confortable en carretera e incluso brillante y deportivo en un precioso puerto de montaña donde nos sorprendió lo efectivo que puede ser este tricilíndrico de 115 cv En resumen, aunque competirá con rivales tan cualificados como el Seat Arona o el recién renovado Renault Captur, este nuevo Kamiq está llamado a ser el modelo estrella de Skoda y, sin lugar a dudas, uno de los más completos y recomendables de la marca, ya que su precio de salida de 14.900 euros -si incluimos la campaña de lanzamiento y la financiación- le hace realmente competitivo.

“Orcas!” shouted Dave, a Stromness resident, our friend and host. Having been notified on his Orkney cetacean alert app, he was glued to his telescope, viewing a pod of six orcas in Stromness harbour. “Looks like they are moving towards the coast, get in the car!” Slinging on our warmest waterproofs, we raced down to the Point of Ness via the campsite and arrived as the pod rounded the headland. The two adults guided their four young on their breakfast fishing spree along the coast at Guardhouse Park. As they headed off up the coast out of sight, we headed back for our own breakfasts, elated. Beverley CattermoleGreat white sharks, Cape TownA great white shark hunting for seal off Simon’s Town, just south of Cape Town.FacebookTwitterPinterest A great white shark hunting for seal off Simon’s Town, just south of Cape Town. Photograph: Alamy A couple of years ago I was in Cape Town for a wedding. The city is one of the best places in the world for spotting great white sharks, and we hopped on a conservation boat with some PhD students studying great whites’ behaviour in Hout Bay. The boat took us to Seal Island, about 20 minutes out. Around 30,000 seals were crammed on to what was essentially a very large rock. Deafened by the noise of the seals, we watched as great whites started circling the island, picking off young seals one by one. The sheer power of the sharks was intense. To top the trip off, we were followed by a pod of around 20 dolphins on the way back to shore and spotted a Bryde’s whale descending. Incredible experience.NeilTurtles, BarbadosA female leatherback turtle crawls back to the Caribbean Sea after nesting. FacebookTwitterPinterest A female leatherback turtle heads back to the Caribbean Sea after nesting. Photograph: Nationa Geographi/AlamyAdvertisementIn Barbados it is not uncommon to see hawksbill, green and leatherback sea turtles, but you are normally surrounded by dozens of other tourists, especially if you are on any kind of organised trip. For an altogether more relaxing swim with the likelihood of encountering these magnificent creatures, I often head to Carlisle Bay early in the morning. At that time of the day everyone is at the far ends of the beach and the tourist boats are nowhere to be seen. We have spent many a peaceful hour snorkelling around the shipwreck and coral, almost always in the company of a handful of sea turtles and huge shoals of reef fish.Kirsty Yeomans Rockpools, FuerteventuraRockpools on the coast of Fuerteventura in the Canary Islands.FacebookTwitterPinterest Rockpools on the coast of Fuerteventura in the Canary Islands. Photograph: Alamy Is there anything more captivating than a rock pool? Discovering these miniature ecosystems on a holiday in Corralejo, Fuerteventura, took me straight back to my childhood. Aged five, crouching on a Cornish beach, prodding anemones and scooping more sand than sea life into a bucket, life couldn’t have been more glorious. Now older, I’ve recaptured that pleasure, spotting tiny hermit crabs, suckerfish and curious little beautifully coloured blennies. Transparent shrimp tickled my feet as they investigated me, and crabs emerged from their rocky shelters to graze on algae. I could have spent hours watching all these fascinating little creatures.RobynOtter, Isle of Skye Otter in Broadford BayFacebookTwitterPinterest ‘The otter was too engrossed to notice us.’ Photograph: Pete DavisAdvertisement There was a hissing sound like an angry cat and I looked up to see my first British otter in the wild – the culmination of many years of unsuccessful otter walks from the River Otter in Devon to the Isle of Mull. Otters are claimed on many rivers and much of our coastline but they have been avoiding me for years! My wife caught up with me just as the otter disappeared into Broadford Bay. We headed back down the coast savouring the late afternoon light and suddenly the otter re-emerged from the sea and climbed out on to a rock with a newly caught crab. It was too engrossed to notice us this time, and we enjoyed a superb and extended view of this beautiful and elusive creature.Pete DavisPuffins, Staffa, Inner Hebrides Puffins on Staffa.FacebookTwitterPinterest Puffins on Staffa. Photograph: AlamyA 50-minute boat ride from Fionnphort, Mull, off the west coast of Scotland, is the Isle of Staffa. Landing on the island, you walk up a steep set of stairs and along a ridge before stopping at the cliff edge to watch puffins dive for fish. The puffins seemed unafraid of people: when we sat down to recover from the walk a puffin landed next to us to watch for fish. Its bright beak against a grey north Atlantic sky was beautiful, and watching the playful nature of the puffins’ dives was so absorbing we nearly missed the boat home. The three-hour trip costs £35pp with Staffa Tours from Mull or Iona.JenniferWhales in the winter, NorwayAn orca surfaces at sunset off the coast of northern Norway FacebookTwitterPinterest .

Magistrates in France have dropped charges against Air France and Airbus over a mid-Atlantic plane crash in 2009 that killed all 228 people on board.The Airbus 330 aircraft flying from Rio de Janeiro to Paris stalled in a storm and plunged into the ocean. On Thursday, the magistrates looking into manslaughter charges brought by victims' relatives decided that there were not enough grounds to prosecute.They blamed the plane's crew for losing control after speed sensors froze.The main association of victims' families called the magistrate's decision an "insult to the memory of the victims" and announced plans to appeal, AFP news agency reports.Air France crash 'due to pilot and technical failings'In 2012, a civil investigation found a combination of technical failure and human error had led to the loss of Flight AF447 on 1 June 2009.Media captionInvestigator-in-charge Alain Bouillard: ''The crew had almost lost complete control of the situation''The report by the French aviation authority highlighted faults with the Airbus 330's air-speed sensors which confused the pilots.But it also pointed to inappropriate action by the pilots.One of the mistakes of the crew was to point the nose of the aircraft upwards after it stalled, instead of down. The accident is the worst disaster in the history of Air France.The wreckage of the plane was discovered after a long search of 10,000 sq km (3,860 sq miles) of sea floor.Since the crash, Air France has replaced the speed sensors on its fleet of Airbus jets with a newer model.

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El acabado de entrada a la gama, Active, está disponible a partir de 20.140 euros y viene equipado de serie con las luces diurnas LED, el grupo óptico trasero LED básico, las llantas de aleación de 16 pulgadas, el sistema de frenada de emergencia Front Assist, Lane Assist, seis airbags de serie, un paquete de cuero interior, el asistente de luces cortas con función Coming Home y Leaving Home, los elevalunas eléctricos, el sensor de presión de neumáticos, el asistente de arranque en pendiente, el sistema de entretenimiento Bolero con una pantalla de 8 pulgadas con tecnología Smartlink+, y Skoda El siguiente acabado, Ambition, ofrece una mayor comodidad y algunos detalles muy atractivos, como las barras longitudinales plateadas del techo, las molduras de las ventanas cromadas, el tapizado interior especial Ambition, la guantera refrigerada, el climatizador bizona automático, el sensor de parking trasero, y el volante multifunción tapizado en cuero. Asimismo, incluye adicionalmente un completísimo equipamiento con Virtual Cockpit, cámara trasera, grupo óptico LED trasero con intermitentes dinámicos, Tempomat y el asiento del copiloto con ajuste de altura. El acabado Style aporta unas tecnologías y unos acabados interiores dignos de segmentos superiores. Destacan los faros delanteros full LED, los intermitentes dinámicos, los faros antiniebla con función corner light, el sistema de cierre centralizado “Kessy Full” con sistema de apertura de puertas por proximidad y botón de arranque “Easy-Start”, las llantas de aleación de 17 pulgadas Praga y el detector de fatiga de serie. Asimismo, el paquete interior de cromo que incorpora hace que el habitáculo tenga un aspecto más refinado. Por último, el acabado tope de gama Sport, es exclusivo para el mercado español y ofrece un acabado más deportivo. Entre su equipamiento destacan las llantas de 18 pulgadas Crater, el techo panorámico de cristal, los cristales tintados Sunset, el volante multifunción de cuero deportivo, la tapicería y los asientos deportivos, el sistema de cierre centralizado “Kessy Full” con sistema de apertura de puertas por proximidad y botón de arranque “Easy-Start”, y el selector de modos de conducción asociado al Control de Chasis Deportivo (SCC) con cuatro modos de conducción: Normal, Sport, Eco e Individual. El Skoda Kamiq cuenta con numerosos elementos de seguridad en todos sus acabados, como el Front Assist con función de frenada de emergencia, seis airbags (frontales, laterales y de cabeza delanteros), y control de presión de neumáticos. Además, de forma opcional puede equipar el sistema de detección de fatiga (de serie en el acabado Style), el asistente de protección de los pasajeros, el freno multicolisión, el control de crucero adaptativo (ACC) o el sistema de detección de ángulo muerto.

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Rover, Max and Ludo are now the target of an alt-meat makeover as the pet care market – which is worth more than £6bn a year in the UK alone – gets a 21st-century overhaul backed by high-profile investors. The meat substitute industry is already big business for humans, with one newly floated pea protein burger company – the Los Angeles-based Beyond Meat – rocketing to a $10bn valuationThe trouble with ake meat Read more Now the US pet food startup Wild Earth is also attracting deep-pocketed investors, including the PayPal billionaire Peter Thiel and Mars Petcare, the company behind Pedigree and brands including IAMS and Whiskas. The firm has launched a vegan dog food which it claims is “paradigm-shifting” in an industry viewed as an environmental disaster. Globally, pets consume about a fifth of the world’s meat and fish, a figure likely to rise given the recent trend to feed human-grade meat. Insects are also being promoted as an alternative protein source for both humans and animals, with the British brand Yora making pellets out of grubs that it says is an easy way to reduce your dog’s “global pawprint The main ingredient in Wild Earth’s dog food is a yeast protein – which goes on sale in the UK next year – billed as having the “umami [savoury] taste that dogs love”. The company’s chief executive, Ryan Bethencourt, said the yeast provides “all the nutritional benefits of meat without the negative impact on the environment”. The grubs used by Yora are the larvae of black soldier flies, which the firm describes as “easier to digest than chicken.” The packaging promises it is made from “100% whole grubs rather than the animal parts you might find in some dog foods”. A teaspoon of eggs produces 100kg of grubs in two weeks. Will Bisset, Yora’s head of innovation, said: “Insects use a fraction of the resources to farm and our grubs are packed with essential amino acids and minerals to benefit pets..” Are alternative meats the key to a healthier life and planet? – Science Weekly podcast Some cat and dog owners like to buy the same products for their animals as they do for themselves, which has created a booming market in everything from CBD (cannabidiol) dog treats – unauthorised in the UK where no such products have been granted veterinary marketing approval – to canine health trackers. Hownd – a British brand that has made its name selling ethical canine spa products and vegetarian hemp treats – is currently crowdfunding to develop its own Wild Earth-style dog food after growing at more than 20% for the last three years. “We are seeing a growing interest in vegan/vegetarian diets for dogs,” said Hownd’s sales director, Mark Hirschel. “It’s early days … but more companies are getting involved. Consumers have become far more ethically and environmentally aware, and understand the issues surrounding the use of animal ingredients, which include contamination, cruelty, and increased carbon footprint, among many others.Advertisement “Dogs are omnivores, not carnivores, and therefore can digest protein from multiple sources. There is a growing list of plant-based proteins already available that are every bit as nutritious as meat protein, and contain fewer calories and potentially harmful effects than animal products.” A 2018 survey by the research firm Mintel found that 41% of pet owners were interested in buying plant-based pet food. Among under-35s, that figure rose to 47%. But this alternative market is held back by price, with shoppers complaining that vegan dog food costs much more than meat-based equivalents.Caroline Baranger, a dog walker based in Ashford, Middlesex who rears her rescue dogs Mimo and Lyra on a vegan diet, said the plant-based brands she had bought in the past were too expensive and she now prepared their meals herself. She said: “It needs to be more affordable. They are seen as posh products because for many people the cost is problematic, as it asks you to triple your bill.”Vegan food becomes UK’s fastest growing takeaway Read morePets at Home, the UK’s biggest pet care retailer, with 452 stores, stocks only a limited range of plant-based products, and the retailer’s chief executive, Peter Pritchard, is uncertain about whether vegan dog food will become mainstream. He said: “I’ve seen many new pet foods and approaches come into this market over the years and they are often very fringe and based on beliefs rather than the cold, hard facts of what pets need to survive and thrive.” The British Veterinary Association (BVA) said cats – which are obligate carnivores – should not be put on a vegetarian or vegan diet, but said it was “theoretically possible” for dogs to become vegetarians.Daniella Dos Santos, the BVA’s junior vice-president, said: “Although we would not recommend it, it is theoretically possible to feed a dog a vegetarian diet, but owners would need to take expert advice to avoid dietary deficiencies and associated disease. A dog on a vegan diet may. Paddy: According to his owner, Sophie More, three-year old Paddy (who has had a piece of rubber surgically removed from his stomach and is partial to nail clippings and dead toads) is a four-legged dustbin, so was unlikely to turn his nose up at any grub – even if made from grubs.The insect kibble did not touch the sides. Straight down the hatch, tail wagging furiously and then his big brown eyes looked up for more.Ditto the “blissful bedtime biscuits”. He didn’t eat them so much as inhale the treats, so missed the chamomile and passion flower notes, but was found snoozing deeply later that afternoon. The gravy bone was a big hit too. Demolished by Paddy – clearly a flexitarian – in short order.Fig with her owner, Adaline Fahey FacebookTwitterPinterest Fig with her owner, Adaline Fahey.Photograph: Ben Gurr/The GuardianFig: Adaline Fahey says her dog is a keen carnivore with a taste for bone marrow.The insect kibble met with a lot of suspicion from eight year-old Fig. The treats were lined up in a row, and after much sniffing, she opted for the gravy bone.With the meaty bone out of the picture, Fig resumed the sniff test but rejected the calming biscuits and pushed the kibble away with her nose.This article was amended on 2 September 2019 to make clear that CBD (cannabidiol) dog treats are not authorised for sale in Britain.Since you’re here…… we have a small favour to ask. More people are reading and supporting The Guardian’s independent, investigative journalism than ever before. And unlike many news organisations, we have chosen an approach that allows us to keep our journalism accessible to all, regardless of where they live or what they can afford. But we need your ongoing support to keep working as we do.The Guardian will engage with the most critical issues of our time – from the escalating climate catastrophe to widespread inequality to the influence of big tech on our lives. At a time when factual information is a necessity, we believe that each of us, around the world, deserves access to accurate reporting with integrity at its heart.Our editorial independence means we set our own agenda and voice our own opinions. Guardian journalism is free from commercial and political bias and not influenced by billionaire owners or shareholders. This means we can give a voice to those less heard, explore where others turn away, and rigorously challenge those in power.We need your support to keep delivering quality journalism, to maintain our openness and to protect our precious independence. Every reader contribution, big or small, is so valuable. Support The Guardian from as little as $1 – and it only takes a minute. Thank you.

She was known as Emily Doe when her victim impact statement, read out in the sexual assault trial of Brock Turner, went viral. Now, she has revealed her identity as 27-year-old Chanel Miller as she prepares to have her memoir published. The case sparked controversy when Turner, then a Stanford University student, was sentenced to six months in jail. He served three. Ms Miller's book, Know My Name, is being released later this month. The memoir's publisher said it would "change the way we think about sexual assault forever". 'You don't know me, but you've been inside me' Ms Miller, a writer and artist from California, was known by the pseudonym Emily Doe during the trial of Turner, a former star swimmer from Ohio, in San Jose, California, for the 2015 assault. He had attacked her while she was unconscious on the ground outside a university fraternity house party. Two Swedish students, cycling past, challenged Turner when they realised Ms Miller, who was found partly dressed near a dumpster, was not moving. In 2016, a jury would find Turner - then 20 - guilty of three charges: sexually assaulting an intoxicated victim, sexually assaulting an unconscious victim and attempting to rape her. He was sentenced to six months and three years' probation. Prosecutors had sought a six-year sentence. The trial sparked a national debate about sexual assault and whether white men from wealthy backgrounds were treated more favourably by the US justice system. At Turner's sentencing, Ms Miller addressed him directly with her statement, beginning with the words: "You don't know me, but you've been inside me, and that's why we're heretoday. The full statement was later published by Buzzfeed, garnering 11 million views in four days. Translated into different languages, it spread across the world, and was the subject of public readings, including being read on the floor of Congress. In it, literature graduate Ms Miller said she only learned the full horror of what happened when reading the news on her phone. Brock Turner's father sparks outrage Judge removed from office by voters She wrote: "At the bottom of the article, after I learned about the graphic details of my own sexual assault, the article listed his swimming times. She was found breathing, unresponsive with her underwear six inches away from her bare stomach curled in foetal position.By the way, he's really good at swimming. During the trial, she set out in the statement, she faced a barrage of questions: "What were you wearing Why were you going to this party Did you party at frats Are you serious with your boyfriend. She would later receive letters from women from across the world, saying she had given them courage to reveal their own stories of sexual assault for the first time. While writing Know My Name, published on 24 September by Viking, she found out further details of her own case, through court documents and witness statements she had not had access to during the trial. The case happened before the #MeToo movement, but Ms Miller - who started writing her book in 2017 - added to her memoir and expanded its scope as the spotlight was shone on sexual violence. Venetia Butterfield, publisher at Penguin General, said: "It is an immense privilege to share Chanel Miller's honest, eloquent and emotional story with readers. Here is a book that will change the way we think about sexual assault forever." Frat Boys talk misogyny and pledging rituals Sexual assault on campus: A student's story Aaron Persky, the judge in the case, was criticised for being too lenient with his sentencing of Turner and was removed from office by voters last year after a recall campaign. During the case, he had expressed concern about how going to prison would affect Turner. As well as having an impact on the recall campaign, Ms Miller's statement also inspired changes in California state law on sexual assault. Last year, Turner had an attempt to have his felonies overturned rejected. He will remain on the sex offenders register.

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El aspecto externo del Skoda Spaceback, que mide 4.3 metros de largo, es el de un compacto al uso, con un frontal de familia en el que destaca la parrilla delantera, con las típicas formas de la marca, y unas líneas suaves y continuas, muy en la línea de Skoda. En el perfil lateral destaca la gran superficie acristalada, que desemboca en un portón posterior relativamente inclinado que, dependiendo de la versión, puede estar pintado en color negro para prolongar visualmente el techo. Disponible con detalles cromados en la base de las ventanillas y en otros lugares como los paragolpes, las llantas de hasta 17 pulgadas concuerdan a la perfección con una estética sobria que apuesta por la practicidad antes que por la imagen. Motores del Skoda Spaceback En cuanto a las mecánicas disponibles, entre los motores de gasolina del Skoda Spaceback ya nos encontramos con una opción más que recomendable, la del nuevo 1.0 TSI de tres cilindros y en dos niveles de potencia de 95 y 110 CV. También sigue estando disponible con el 1.4 TSI de 125 CV. Entre los motores diésel del Skoda Spaceback no faltan los 1.4 TDI de 90 CV y 1.6 TDI de 116 CV de potencia. Interior del Skoda Spaceback El habitáculo del Skoda Spaceback es una clara muestra del estilo más puro de Skoda: se trata de un interior bien diseñado, con líneas sencillas y una calidad de ensamblaje por encima de la media, pero con materiales algo más sencillos que los de sus rivales y una carga ergonómica muy alta: todo queda a mano y todo está plagado de detalles prácticos. El espacio a bordo es más que bueno para cinco personas, especialmente en las plazas traseras de los extremos, donde personas de hasta 1.90 metros de altura podrán viajar con holgura. El espacio para el maletero es amplio, con 415 litros de capacidad, muy por encima de la media de su segmento. Dinámica del Skoda Spaceback El Skoda Spaceback ofrece una dinámica de conducción en la media con otras creaciones del Grupo Volkswagen, al que pertenece Skoda. Así, nos encontramos ante un vehículo fácil de conducir, que no nos pondrá en apuros, pero que no destaca de forma rabiosa por su dinamismo a la hora de afrontar [CENSORED]s. Sus motores son resolutivos, a lo que se le añade un ajuste de chasis muy equilibrado. Es, en definitiva, un vehículo para aquellos que busquen una alternativa para desplazarse del punto A al punto B sin dificultad y con un vehículo que nunca nos pondrá en un compromiso, pero sin necesidad de un toque deportivo, reservado a otros vehículos de la marca.

d Saturdays even exist before the Blind date column? Not as far as I’m concerned. The start of the weekend was a joyless desert until, in 2009, Weekend magazine started sending two hapless (my words) strangers out for dinner in the hope that three courses, a bottle of house white and the terror of appearing in a national newspaper would be the accelerant a romantic spark needs to go full inferno. I have been obsessed with Blind date for most of its 10-year existence. Its simplicity is deceptive: what the daters say leaves plenty of room for interpretation. On the surface, the questions are formulaic – somewhere between inane smalltalk at a stranger’s house party and the sexless interrogation of a dietary questionnaire from your GP. But in the context of the column, they are traps – and I love to see the participants fall right in, revealing themselves via the short aside that they shared a pudding with their date. And let’s not forget that score out of 10. Brutal to have adults rate one another, you might say. Delicious, I say. The key to its success? It’s relatable. I used to write an anonymous dating blog as The Guyliner. I know what it’s like out there. I have sat at deathly dull dinners with the king of halitosis talking about his loft conversion. I have taken sneaky glances at my watch as a partied-out zombie talked me through his negroni-inspired accumulator hangover. I have also dropped clangers, watched my date’s face plummet and realised that my half of the bill is no longer an investment in a bright future, but a tax on my stupidity. This is why I love Blind date so much. But its two slim columns in the middle of Weekend, barely 400 words a week, weren’t enough for me. Every Saturday, I would dash to social media to debrief with other devotees. The disasters! The fairytale endings! Even the kind of “meh” ones where two clean-shirts spent two hours saying, “No, after you” over a dish of calamari – we discussed them all. In July 2014, after years of writing about my own dates, I was coupled up and looking for something new to write about. It occurred to me that it might be fun to look deeper into Blind date, to read between the lines. In the same way that the Guardian’s episode recaps of Line Of Duty or Game Of Thrones are must-reads for fans eager to dissect their favourite dramas, I wanted to put Blind date under the microscope. Thus my blog, Impeccable Table Manners, was born, taking its name from the stock reply given by many daters to the “Good table manners?” question. The tone is light snark, with greater savagery deployed occasionally for some of the biggest shockers. I try not to get too personal; I’m critiquing what people say, not who they are, and I invite dates to get in touch if they want to give their side of the story. To my surprise, the blog’s po[CENSORED]rity grew and grew. Soon, every Saturday morning, my Twitter mentions were full of people asking when the review was going up – sometimes as early as 7.30am. (Guys, it’s Saturday.) The idea was to take the daters’ answers and run with them. Sometimes, quite far. Almost every column inspires me in some way, and if I get speechless, well, there is always an animated gif of Joan Collins rolling her eyes close at hand. And while this bit is fun, every week the date throws up a deeper topic for me to chew on. I have touched on loneliness, snobbery, racism, misogyny, masculinity, poverty and kindness. An awkward answer about who gets to pour the wine can get me going on just about anything. The blog has developed running gags of its own – my readers and I react very strongly to lateness (no!), negronis (yuck!), daters worrying they talked too much (you are on a date, hun; talking is the point), chopsticks (always a disaster), sharing food (no, thank you), people who say, “I think my friends would be too much for them” about their crew of magnolia acolytes and, of course, the dreaded “impeccable”: find a new word (except don’t, because I love it). There have been occupational hazards. One guy I reviewed is now my editor at GQ magazine (awkward). Another woman was halfway through doing my makeup for a photoshoot before mentioning she had had the Impeccable treatment (she still made me look good). And I have been stopped in the street on numerous occasions by daters and fans of both the Weekend column and Impeccable Table Manners. The cult of Blind date is bigger than you might think. They say you should never meet your heroes, but the completist in me wanted to find out exactly what goes on behind the scenes. Despite my readers’ frequent frustrations at the “algorithm” that puts daters together, it is not a supercomputer that does the matching. Nina Trickey, Weekend’s resident cupid, has been hooking up readers since 2012, curating the entire process: sifting the romantic hopefuls’ applications, matching them, booking the restaurant and compiling their answers. She has the perfect credentials for the job: as a favour to her friend Anna, her predecessor as cupid, Nina appeared in Blind date No 2. She got on OK with Niall, 26. They scored each other an 8, but when asked if she would meet him again, Nina replied: “Not romantically. Also, he didn’t compliment me and I did him (on his shirt),” thus setting the tone for the hundreds of daters who would follow. You need the precision of a heart surgeon to play Blind date matchmaker. Nina admits it can be hard. “I can’t match someone 100% of the time on what they say in that first email,” she says. “Some give you loads of information, but with others it’s just two lines. I have to get them in, see them for myself.” Daters are invited to have their photograph taken before their date – individually, of course, or where’s the surprise Sometimes applicants are too similar; the column is always running short of straight men, older couples and people outside the M25. While there may seem to be a Blind date “type”, anyone is welcome to take part and the goal is to make the column as diverse as possible. Is there ever a risk of being set up with someone who is merely available, rather than a decent match? Nina shakes her head emphatically. “No, there has to be something there.” Some daters wait quite a while – up to a year. “I do feel bad for unmatched people still sitting in my inbox, but I never forget them,” she says. The meal is on the restaurant, in return for the honour of being featured; daters get three courses and one bottle of wine. Regular readers often bemoan dates that happen on a “school night”, which often prevents anyon Tomas said “She looks extremely cool.” I said “This is, basically, saying ‘I fancied her’ two questions in without coming across like someone who bought a top hat in 2011 just in case they got married some day.” Tomas said “We talked about vomit, urinal etiquette, nude cycling.” I said “I have this feeling that when Tomas proposes to Lizzie – next autumn, at a place that meant something to her as a child, using the engagement ring of a relative or an antique bought with a legacy from a favourite godmother – he’ll hide the ring inside a pudding or a pebble or something. Please don’t do that, Tomas.” Lizzie said “It was really hot in the restaurant, so I kept fanning myself like a delicate Dickensian woman.” I said “I don’t think she was fanning herself because of the temperature in the restaurant, do you, readers?” Lizzie and Tomas’s date was published in a dark week, just after the Manchester Arena attack. This pair melted my icy heart because they were so unapologetically into each other. Every answer fizzed off the page with bubbles of joy, and their date was an emphatic double 10. What happened next? “When I saw he’d scored me a 10, I felt all warm and fuzzy inside,” Lizzie says now. On seeing his 10, Tomas claims he thought: “She is a great judge of character.” Lizziehad been inspired to apply after reading through all the past Blind date columns on a Megabus journey home from Bristol. “I hoped I’d meet my true love, but never for one second thought I actually would,” she says. Both read my blog, so buckled in for a roasting there. “We were spared,” Tomas says. “It made the Blind date experience even more joyous.” Lizzie adds: “It really summed up our feelings towards each other. By the third date, I wanted to be with Tom for ever. No messing about.” Wow. There appears to be something in my eye. She wasn’t wrong – the pair got engaged in April 2018, and the wedding is this winter. But if we are searching for downsides, even this romantic bliss has a dark cloud. “I wish I’d done something with my hair,” says Lizzie of the Guardian photoshoot. “You don’t realise that, if the date goes really well and you end up getting married, that bad hair day will follow you through the rest of your life.” So, Lizzie’s advice: get your hair done. And from Tomas? “Apply! It’s great fun and you never know where it might lead Beautiful. Benjamin said “We talked about our shared desire for a Georgian terrace house by Highbury Fields.” I said “Did you go to the top of the page, as I did, and check their ages again? You turn up on a date with some smooth-skinned honey in their 20s and all you can talk about is wanting a house?” Mark said “Introduce him to my friends? I don’t think the opportunity will arise.” I said “Can anyone smell roasting flesh? Because, baby, that burns.” Benjamin said “Mark in three words? Smart, musical, cute.” I said “I am trying to imagine these two ‘doing it’, but all I can picture is two John Lewis gift cards sliding around on top of each other.” Benjamin, a 27-year-old composer, and Mark, a 21-year-old editorial assistant, did everything they could to destroy my theory that Blind dates involving two men were always more raucous. Two old heads on young shoulders, they talked of Björk, operettas and property. At least they shattered a few stereotypes along the way. Advertisement Looking back on it now, Benjamin concedes: “The evening was spark-free and chemistry-light.” He feels Mark may have been taking the date a lot more seriously than he had been expecting. “No one really goes on Blind date to find true love, right?” Mark’s take was more vinegary. “I could tell fairly well how it had gone,” Benjamin says, “but his first adjective to describe me was ‘punctual’ – brutal.” Mark confesses he regrets his words a little. “I came across as cold and cruel, which was definitely not the intention,” he insists. “I had a good time, but clearly struggled to convey that.” He concedes that the friends quip was “savage”. The thing to remember about going on a Blind date is that people you know will see it. And so will your mother. Mark said that reading my review of his date out loud to his mother was quite the experience: “I can hardly describe her face when you called me ‘something young and malleable’ and ‘a smooth-skinned honey in their 20s’.” Sorry, Mark’s mum. Mark and Benjamin didn’t opt for a second meeting, but Benjamin is now happily settled with his boyfriend. “We’ve been together four years,” he says. “He’s wonderful, although I’m not sure what score he’d have given me on our first date.” Best not to ask, Benjamin.