Recently, while bagging up my shopping in a Co-op, the assistant pointed to the scars covering my forearms and asked if I did it for love. Like many other people, I come with somewhat unsettling signs of borderline personality disorder (BPD), as well as a few non-consensual overshares. The question of whether to wear short sleeves or long sleeves, regardless of the weather, usually takes up the majority of time getting ready. On one date I was drawn into a conversation about west African bodily mutilation and how it’s unfair to do such a thing to children without their consent. It took me a few moments to follow the implication. Having to flex and turn my forearms, scrutinising them with the person opposite me like I was seeing them for the first time, and then saying ‘I did this to myself’, felt a little too much like creating a trauma bond. There couldn’t be a second date. On another, I was asked, sincerely, if the scars were a self-inflicted form of art – something I could photograph or write about. This was actually the second time I’d been asked this question – the first, I ended up in a back garden, topless, a lens zooming in and out on my wrists. It was a relief, at least, from the other, more typical reaction to my scars: a look of horror, accompanied by a thought cycle I imagine, roughly, to be, “Could this happen to me; would they do this to me; will they hurt themselves if I do something to upset them? Will they hurt me?” When I was diagnosed with BPD in 2018, it felt as if it wasn’t only my business but a crucial piece of information that had to be shared with anyone I spoke to. So usually, within the hourglass timer of talking to a match on Hinge, I bring it up, joking that I can be a little ‘off-key’ at times; on my profile, there’s a ‘just stare politely y’all, we’re witnessing mental illness’ meme. Because by not providing this small but boundless piece of information, I feel like I’m deceiving them, and taking away a choice: to continue talking to me or not. Many people, of course, would tell me I’m overthinking this. But considering the disorder can and does have a significant effect on my personality and behaviour, especially in romantic interactions – often giving the impression that I’m a completely different person – yeah, I think it’s important to mention it as soon as possible. Once a romantic interest knows you have BPD, and has actually done the reading on the disorder – the reading my therapist told me I should send them as soon as I can, because internet searches compare me to abusive partners and Donald Trump – they can sometimes soften, but take on the demeanour of a mental health nurse (albeit one prepared to lose the uniform, if all goes well). They want to save you. It is lovely, but a dangerous and imbalanced way to begin any type of relationship. And often, once they experience the type of behaviour which, on paper, sounded easy to handle, the soft strokes across the ridges of my arms turn to winces of disgust. What was once perceived as the consequences of my illness becomes, in their mind, a set of choices I have full control over. WATCH Sam Smith Answers Your Questions For those with borderline personality disorder, infatuation, love, proposal and marriage can crystallise within 45 minutes of meeting someone – online or otherwise. The dating process can involve black-and-white thinking, loving someone one minute – actually believing you’re in love – and then feeling disgust towards them the next. It can mean having anxiety attacks in their presence; shouting to express the emotional turbulence that otherwise would be impossible to escape; lying to avoid abandonment; showing too much affection (not love bombing – there is no mani[CENSORED]tion involved in this); tolerating anything they do, no matter how disrespectful and hurtful, which can actually turn people off. The most common accusation people with BPD get, after all of this, is a claim of mani[CENSORED]tion – which is true, but usually of ourselves, warping our thinking into believing all sorts of irrationalities. During my second year of uni, before my diagnosis, I fell in love with someone after three days. The feeling was so intense that I was on my knees, fists clenched, softly punching the floor. It felt like physical pain not to be able to see this person, to tell them constantly how I felt and garner some sort of equal reaction. I thought this was me being passionate; unique in my ability to love someone so completely. ‘No one will ever love you as much as I do’ sounded so true, so romantic. All I could think about was being in love and how it could heal me. I needed to hear it, to feel it. And yet, the fear of abandonment was so intense that before a date, looking through a pub window at his waiting posture at a table, I was suddenly sure he wasn’t interested, so I left without going in. I went home and deleted his number. In my delusion, I really thought I was doing him a favour. Looking back, I’m not embarrassed, but I wish one of my boys told me how mad I was moving. companionship, company – I experienced these things later, but I barely recognised them. Even when I was receiving everything that harmonised into what I thought of as love, without the tight words, people's actions suddenly seemed disingenuous, their desire became just objectification. I began to recognise a pattern: of deifying any soul who said ‘I’m sorry that happened to you’, and then days or weeks later (honestly, sometimes moments), seeing horns slide up through the sides of their head, becoming convinced this was someone faking empathy to extract sex or company from me. I ended up living with a partner but finished it because the subsequent anxiety was crippling, stopping me from walking back into the house after work. On a holiday, I fell for a stranger who walked passed my hotel every morning. After spending a few days with her on the beach and having breakfast on my balcony I was so in love, I was prepared to miss my flight home. That was until, as we lay watching films in bed, she received a string of messages so frequent the individual pings turned into one long alarm bell. She insisted it was her mum, I knew it was a next man, which was fine, rationally, but it was enough for my emotions to kick in. I was on my flight that evening. . The answers are not simple By GQ Reflecting on all of this is comforting, though. Because with each encounter, I have learned something new about myself. There are hundreds of ways to present BPD, and, with the help of therapy, I have been storing up ways to handle each one when it approaches. I will still overthink, still fantasise over a beginning, middle and end with someone I’ve barely spoken to. But with self-talk and various forms of behavioural therapy, this stays in my head, never to be acted out in real life, so when my silence becomes suspect and I’m asked what I’m thinking, I can honestly respond: ‘Nothing important.’ Derek Owusu is the author of That Reminds Me (2019), which won the Desmond Elliott Prize for best debut novel. His new book is Losing the Plot (2022). link: https://www.gq-magazine.co.uk/lifestyle/article/dating-with-borderline-personality-disorder

The Russian authorities may have shut down his newspaper, but journalist Dmitry Muratov refuses to be silenced. When we meet in Moscow, the editor-in-chief of Novaya Gazeta and Russia's Nobel Peace Prize laureate is worried how far the Kremlin will go in its confrontation with the West. "Two generations have lived without the threat of nuclear war," Mr Muratov tells me. "But this period is over. Will Putin press the nuclear button, or won't he? Who knows? No one knows this. There isn't a single person who can say for sure." Since Russia launched its full-scale invasion of Ukraine in February 2022, Moscow's nuclear sabre-rattling has been loud and frequent. Senior officials have dropped unsubtle hints that Western nations arming Ukraine should not push Russia too far. A few days ago, Russian President Vladimir Putin announced plans to station tactical nuclear weapons in Belarus. Then one of his closest aides, Nikolai Patrushev, warned that Russia had a "modern unique weapon capable of destroying any enemy, including the United States". Bluff and bluster? Or a threat that needs to be taken seriously? Mr Muratov has picked up worrying signs inside Russia. "We see how state propaganda is preparing people to think that nuclear war isn't a bad thing," he says. "On TV channels here, nuclear war and nuclear weapons are promoted as if they're advertising pet food." "They announce: 'We've got this missile, that missile, another kind of missile.' They talk about targeting Britain and France; about sparking a nuclear tsunami that washes away America. Why do they say this? So that people here are ready." On Russian state TV recently, a prominent talk-show host suggested that Russia "should declare any military target on the territory of France, Poland and the United Kingdom a legitimate target for [Russia]". The same presenter has also suggested "flattening an island with strategic nuclear weapons and carrying out a test launch or firing of tactical nuclear weapons, so that no one has any illusions". Yet state propaganda here portrays Russia as a country of peace, and Ukraine and the West as the aggressors. Many Russians believe it. "People in Russia have been irradiated by propaganda," Mr Muratov says. "Propaganda is a type of radiation. Everyone is susceptible to it, not just Russians. In Russia, propaganda is twelve TV channels, tens of thousands of newspapers, social media like VK [the Russian version of Facebook] that serves completely the state ideology." Nato condemns 'dangerous' Russian nuclear rhetoric "But what if tomorrow the propaganda suddenly stops?" I ask. "If it all goes quiet? What would Russians think then?" "Our younger generation is wonderful," replies Mr Muratov. "It's well-educated. Nearly a million Russians have left the country. Many of those who've stayed are categorically against what is happening in Ukraine. They are against the hell that Russia has created there. "I am convinced that as soon as the propaganda stops, this generation - and everyone else with common sense - will speak out." "They're already doing so," he continues. "Twenty-one thousand administrative and criminal cases have been opened against Russians who've protested. The opposition is in jail. Media outlets have been shut down. Many activists, civilians and journalists have been labelled foreign agents. "Does Putin have a support base? Yes, an enormous one. But these are elderly people who see Putin as their own grandson, as someone who will protect them and who brings them their pension every month and wishes them Happy New Year each year. These people believe their actual grandchildren should go and fight and die." Last year Mr Muratov auctioned off his Nobel Peace prize to raise money for Ukrainian child refugees. He has little optimism about the future. "Never again will there be normal relations between the people of Russia and Ukraine. Never. Ukraine will not be able to come to terms with this tragedy." "In Russia political repression will continue against all opponents of the regime," he adds. "The only hope I have lies with the young generation; those people who sees the world as a friend, not as an enemy and who want Russia to be loved and for Russia to love the world. "I hope that this generation will outlive me and Putin." link: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-65119595

Artificial intelligence (AI) could replace the equivalent of 300 million full-time jobs, a report by investment bank Goldman Sachs says. It could replace a quarter of work tasks in the US and Europe but may also mean new jobs and a productivity boom. And it could eventually increase the total annual value of goods and services produced globally by 7%. Generative AI, able to create content indistinguishable from human work, is "a major advancement", the report says. The government is keen to promote investment in AI in the UK, which it says will "ultimately drive productivity across the economy", and has tried to reassure the public about its impact. "We want to make sure that AI is complementing the way we work in the UK, not disrupting it - making our jobs better, rather than taking them away," Technology Secretary Michelle Donelan told the Sun. The report notes AI's impact will vary across different sectors - 46% of tasks in administrative and 44% in legal professions could be automated but only 6% in construction 4% in maintenance, it says. BBC News has previously reported some artists' concerns AI image generators could harm their employment prospects. 'Lower wages' "The only thing I am sure of is that there is no way of knowing how many jobs will be replaced by generative AI," Carl Benedikt Frey, future of-work director at the Oxford Martin School, Oxford University, told BBC News. "What ChatGPT does, for example, is allow more people with average writing skills to produce essays and articles. "Journalists will therefore face more competition, which would drive down wages, unless we see a very significant increase in the demand for such work. "Consider the introduction of GPS technology and platforms like Uber. Suddenly, knowing all the streets in London had much less value - and so incumbent drivers experienced large wage cuts in response, of around 10% according to our research. "The result was lower wages, not fewer drivers. "Over the next few years, generative AI is likely to have similar effects on a broader set of creative tasks". 'Pinch of salt' According to research cited by the report, 60% of workers are in occupations that did not exist in 1940. But other research suggests technological change since the 1980s has displaced workers faster than it has created jobs. And if generative AI is like previous information-technology advances, the report concludes, it could reduce employment in the near term. The long-term impact of AI, however, was highly uncertain, chief executive of the Resolution Foundation think tank Torsten Bell told BBC News, "so all firm predictions should be taken with a very large pinch of salt". "We do not know how the technology will evolve or how firms will integrate it into how they work," he said. "That's not to say that AI won't disrupt the way we work - but we should focus too on the potential living-standards gains from higher-productivity work and cheaper-to-run services, as well as the risk of falling behind if other firms and economies better adapt to technological change." link: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-65102150

For the past two years, Newcastle woman Cynthia has been relentlessly applying for rental properties across New South Wales. Space to play or pause, M to mute, left and right arrows to seek, up and down arrows for volume. Abandoning your pet to keep your rental Unable to secure a home, Cynthia and her staffy-cross Storm have been staying at a friend's place. "It's practically impossible to get housing when you have a dog," she said. "I've applied for hundreds of places through emails, phone calls, real estate websites, real estate agents, not just in New South Wales but out of the state as well." Cynthia has been on the crisis and priority housing list for more than two years, after escaping a domestic violence relationship. Richard's landlord doesn't know about his dogs Every inspection he takes his dogs to a neighbour's place and steam cleans the carpet. A composite image of a staffy and Labrador. Read more Her rescue pet Storm provides her comfort and support, but she feels like she is being discriminated against by real estate agents for having a pet. "Especially having a staffy, Storm is just automatically classed as an aggressive breed," she said. Cynthia said she knew many people who had chosen to surrender their dogs to give them a better shot at securing accommodation. "It's heartbreaking," she said. "Unfortunately I live in an area where there are a lot of dumped animals. You see the rangers around a lot." Rise in surrendered pets Dee Walton, who manages Maitland Animal Management Facility, said she had noticed an increase in pets being surrendered due to the housing crisis. "Every day, we are taking 10, 20, 30 phone calls for people to surrender their animals," she said. "And quite often it's not just one pet, it's two or three ... we just don't have capacity to manage that." Hunter Tenants Advice and Advocacy Service coordinator Nicole Grgas said many landlords were favouring tenants without animals. "There's a real squeeze regardless, and so if you do have a pet it makes it that much more difficult to compete," she said. "The majority of ads that we see for rental properties will say 'no pets'." Ms Grgas said while tenancy law itself did not prohibit pets, many landlords included 'no pets' clauses in agreements, which her organisation would like to see abolished. link: https://www.abc.net.au/news/2023-03-29/increase-in-surrendered-animals-due-to-rental-squeeze-in-nsw/102148666

Whether you have family history of dementia or not, you'll want to study up. If you can still sing along to every boy band song of the early 2000s and can recite your childhood best friend's phone number, you might be thinking you'll never have to worry about memory challenges. While it's true that a minority of Americans are officially diagnosed with dementia or Alzheimer's disease, it's probably far more common than you might expect. According to an October 2022 study published in JAMA Neurology, 1 in 10 American seniors are currently living with dementia, and another 22% of those 65 and older experience mild cognitive impairment—one of the early signals that more serious cognitive challenges may be on the horizon. That's about one-third of all individuals 65 and older. Cognitive decline naturally occurs as we get older; it's natural that our ability to remember details, understand, learn and think degrades slightly over time. But when it starts to impact the quality of daily life and the ability to lead a happy, healthy, secure life, that's when a brain-related diagnosis might occur. Family history certainly plays a role in the risk for dementia and other cognition-related conditions, and scientists have discovered a variety of habits can also move the needle. Things that have been previously shown to reduce the risk for cognitive complications later in life include: Eating more fruits and vegetables Keeping a stable blood sugar Limiting intake of ultra-processed foods Maintaining a healthy blood pressure Not smoking Scoring enough sleep Staying socially engaged Incorporating regular physical activity. What This Brain Health Study Found For this study, lead author Hui Zheng, Ph.D., a professor in the Department of Sociology at Ohio State University, and his team crunched the numbers from more than 7,000 American adults born between 1931 and 1941 who had enrolled in the Health and Retirement Study. This cognition-related study includes participants' health biometrics from 1996 to 2016, and also has details about lifestyle, such as exercise, smoking status, medical diagnoses and socioeconomic factors. Zheng and his team used a statistical approach to try to estimate the role (if any) and the percentage by which each of their studied factors might impact neuropathology (aka diseases of the brain, such as cognitive decline). They found that early life conditions and adult diseases and behaviours played a fairly small role—about 5.6%. But teaming up to contribute a whopping 38% in risk level was a combo platter of socioeconomic status (including education level of both the person and their parents, income/wealth and occupation), race and mental health. Prior to this study, doctors and scientists had mainly suggested that an individual's choices and actions matter most in maintaining cognitive functioning. This study suggests that it's time to turn some attention to social determinants of health, too. This new brain health study found that education level, income, race and depression status, in tandem with healthy lifestyle habits, play a surprisingly large role in the potential development of dementia or Alzheimer's disease. You can't isolate one habit or factor and deem it the cause of cognitive decline. Brain health is impacted substantially by personal well-being throughout the lifespan. This includes how secure someone feels at home, whether or not they're experiencing a mental health challenge like depression, their level of financial freedom, and how much they've been able to study to build up their "brain bank." All of this points to the importance of viewing brain health through the individual and the systemic lens. A community must be designed in a way to support economic and educational access, mental health resources, safe places for physical activity, access to a wide variety of foods, and the opportunity for social connection. Admittedly, this is a lofty and substantial prospect, and is much easier said than done. But with nearly one-third of all Americans over 65 affected by cognitive impairment, it certainly can't hurt to start exploring ways to improve our current landscape. link:https://www.eatingwell.com/article/8029793/study-cognitive-decline-impacted-lifestyle-factors/

yeah problem fixed. thank you ❤️

Your Nickname: jayden Your Problem: Everytime I attempt to join a server it does not allow me to join and I get a "connection to server timed out" Screenshot: https://imgur.com/a/t19Kcz6

its fixed, ty

Your Nickname: jayden Your Problem: everytime I open cs 1.6 it opens up as a black screen (on steam) Screenshot: its just a black screen

Nick: jayden Time: 17:59 Site: gametracker Proof: Contact method: paypal Daily/Weekly/Monthly boost? : daily Other informations: =]

sorry I'm late but, hb bro ❤️