[News]"I'm Nestor and I'm 40 weeks pregnant"

[SougarLord]

 

The story of Esther Román and his wife, Juani Bermejo-Vega, went viral when Esther said she was pregnant. When he picked up the phone, in the midst of a pandemic and a few days after bringing a baby into the world, he claims his name: Nestor. "It is exhausting that your existence becomes an object of debate," reproaches this graphic designer, somewhat tired of repetitive questions. Although he and his wife, married since 2016, know each other unconventional.

 

Esther was born a girl and is now a man who is over 33 years old and who says, with complete security and surprise to some who listen: "I am Nestor and I am 40 weeks pregnant." Juani was born a boy and with a different name than he has now. She has a PhD in Physics, professor of Quantum Computing at the University of Granada. She was always a woman, but she did not change her name until she became a woman. This couple in their 30s are going to be parents.

 

Before this childbirth that fills them with joy, Nestor does not evade in the story the odd misstep, episodes of misunderstanding, school bullying, harassment and offenses hidden in a drawer and that at this happy moment of their lives They would not want to reopen. Strong defenders of the 'queer' theory, that 'children' are brought into the world without a sexual category that inscribes the baby as a boy or a girl (for which they ridicule the journalist's question), they boast of a single commandment: love professed by these Extremadurans for more than 15 years.

The 'Trans law' debate

Politics has wanted to put some of the problems that transgender people go through in the forefront of debate. The 'Trans law' that the Ministry of Equality of Irene Montero has designed is debated, and although they say they do not align with one hundred percent of the points of the norm, they are also happy that society has given giant steps to accept your inner experiences. And they believe that law may be the next stage. Proof of this social metamorphosis is Néstor, with whom ABC speaks: he was born in the Badajo town of Villanueva de la Serena. «It is not true what is said about the rural world. They accept me as I am, they welcome me, now I feel at home ", he declares. But, he laments, “as a child, I ate a lot because of my appearance. It was difficult for me to socialize, I was not sure what it was or what I should feel. He suffered harassment from those who go after the geek. But you would now be surprised by my experience in the town: there has been a very strong social advance, also with the gays, lesbians ... now I see the 14-year-old kids and they give me a certain envy. I say to myself: 'I hope no one has to go through what we went through again,' "he says.

 

He penetrates: «You have no references, you feel lost. You repress it, it destroys your self-esteem, you hide and you deny yourself. Something is wrong in this direction, you repeat yourself, you don't know which way to go. The harshness of a process marked by doubts penetrates.

 

Néstor met Juani at the University of Salamanca. They have passed through France, Germany and Madrid. «Things evolved in Berlin, I began to interact with LGTB people. Back then I considered myself bisexual. They encouraged me to explore my personality, my partner also doubted, he thought I was gay. I have not wanted to force myself in any way. Your identity is an achievement that you have to live alone ». In Germany they found a society that vindicates gender identity without hindrance; they married. They moved to the Nasrid city and he has formed a family with his Juani, the woman who inseminated him, and the baby who is about to come into the world. The best thing, with Nestor, is to let him talk. He expresses himself by knocking down flourishes that the interlocutor builds up mentally: «We always wanted to have offspring. The usual and complex question for me is whether I will have a boy or a girl. All I want right now is to hold him. I want to survive; I don't care much about the other. I want to raise him without stereotypes and, as I am autonomous, to be able to do it with the timely discharge. Because the real criticism of the system is that the aid system is broken. The other trips don't matter much to him.

 

The ‘Trans law’ accepts that transgender people make use of assisted reproduction techniques and abortion within the National Health System, without having to resort to clandestine or stratospheric payments. Nestor prefers not to address this point. “On the biological sex thing, I want to make it clear that I am not an expert on this subject at all. If I had to give an opinion, I believe that there are sexual differences, but they are not as binary as men and women and that no matter how much you want to define ‘mounds’ 1 and 2, there will always be people left out. For that I recommend the talks by Isabel López Calderón, who explains the biology of sex in a very interesting way. On the genre, I am not particularly a fan of its existence nor do I think it is particularly linked to biology. I don't have great theoretical explanations for why I'm trans. I prefer to leave that to people who study anthropology. I only know that I want to transition to be able to live in peace. He continues: “I have no studies in anthropology or biology or neurology. The questions that everyone asks us are difficult for me ”, he opens with all sincerity to the questions that only try to bring his reality closer to the understanding of the po[CENSORED]tion that is resisting, in some way.

 

Prejudices

There are many prejudices around trans people. Nestor accepts it. It took them a long life journey to be clear about what they felt, and in Germany, a psychiatrist diagnosed them with gender dysphoria, a procedure that now the draft of the Equality law eliminates as an essential requirement and that would allow the hormonalization of children under 16 and 17 years behind his parents' backs. Nestor doesn't get wet. He lost his mother young. He invites us to reflect on what each subject needs and not to generalize. For example, she doesn't care so much who is thought of as Esther, the name she was born with; but yes to his partner, Juani, from Cáceres, who doesn't even mention it.

 

Trans people have a complicated relationship with her birth name at times, which is why they welcome the registry change that allows the ‘Trans law’ without the need for parental permission. Nestor's father still calls her Esther.

 

I want to decide and have the window of opportunity that anyone has

Being pregnant in the middle of the pandemic, fleeing from the hugs of family and friends by obligation, has been very difficult for Néstor. When he made it public on social networks, he was showered with hugs and virtual hits almost equally. "My wife, a researcher, has had some problems and they have almost obsessively accused him of having obtained her Marie Curie scholarship for‘ positive discrimination ’, when she obeys a merit contest," he hurts. “Society does not have to share it, but it does have to accept others, it is about basic empathy. It would be enough to say 'I'm going to understand it, I'm not going to laugh at it,' "he says.

 

"I want to decide for myself and have the opportunities that cisgender people have, nothing more and nothing less," stabs consciences, but there is no hint of resentment.