Children alone at home: between sadness and autonomy

[Jultxxxyes]

The recommended age from which a child can manage a few hours alone at home is considered to be from 12 years old

 

Children who leave the school and when they get home are alone because their parents are working have always existed. The difference with respect to 20 years ago is that “now it is more interesting to see a minor alone, because the experience with respect to security has changed. Before, there was more link and relationship with the community, the neighbors or the people of the neighborhood. Somehow, the feeling of being supported was greater than today, ”explains Cristina de la Rosa Tineo, Psychologist and psychotherapist at the Nudos center.

Parents may feel worried and guilty about leaving their children alone at home until they are released from their family responsibilities. But, “everything has its positive and negative part, so in this society that tends to overprotect and facilitate the autonomy of children reluctantly, it can be an opportunity for them to learn to drive at home with their tasks and chores. On the other hand, among the possible risks of leaving a child alone, is the fact that before an unforeseen event it is more difficult for him to know how to act effectively, because his capacity, in this sense, is not that of an adult ”, says the psychologist Cristina Tineo.

Children alone at home and risk of eating habits that cause obesity
The lack of control in the diet is a risk for children who eat alone at home, since “they lack the supervision that their diet may require because, surely, they snack or even have dinner alone. Currently, there are numerous cases of childhood obesity due to bad eating habits. On the other hand, a child who is home alone may also need help with homework or prepare school supplies that are difficult to organize without the help of an adult. Keep in mind that the number of distractions increases when the child is alone, as in the case of the phone, television or video games, according to Tineo.

 

These children may feel alone and develop a feeling of hyperresponsibility that does not correspond to their age. To avoid this situation and ensure that this circumstance is lived in the most satisfactory and positive way for both the child and the parents, several guidelines can be taken into account:

1. Accept on the part of the parents the situation of the child spending a few hours without feeling guilty, since it is a necessary circumstance that has not been chosen by the parents and from which one can take advantage, such as training the autonomy of the child and reduce risks, such as the feeling of loneliness.

2. Create a network so that the child feels supported while he is home alone, how to call on the phone to see how he is doing and give him the option to call if he needs anything. Likewise, it is advisable to notify a trusted neighbor, close person or family member so that the child knows where and to whom to go if necessary.

3. Leave an agenda with times and tasks to carry out, as well as the food you should take and money, if you need it.

4. Try to make progressive the time the child begins to be alone. In this way, you will gain security and be managed on the go where difficulties arise during the time that adults are not at home.

5. Clarify the reasons for the absence of adults and how long the child will be alone. If it is due to work or family issues.

6. Assess how the child lives by staying alone at home and addressing their concerns about it, such as fear or the feeling of insecurity.

Recommended age for a child to be home alone for a few hours
Each child is a world and has its own rhythm to grow and mature, which also depends on his personality and the education he has received. The recommended age from which a child can manage a few hours alone at home is considered to be from 12 years. “The younger the child, the more complicated it is because it is a loneliness management and they are too young to cope with it. It is a slight level of abandonment, not because parents want to do it. The positive part is that at that time alone, children have to invent what they are going to entertain and this leads them to develop imagination and autonomy, ”says Tristana Suárez, Gestalt psychologist and therapist.

"Children who learn to manage their lonely time develop a capacity that will be very useful to them in life and that consists in feeling comfortable with their inner world and taking advantage of boredom in dead times, through the development of inventiveness to entertain. The negative part is when you accumulate a feeling of loneliness not chosen that can create some vulnerability in children if they feel the absence of family support, "concludes Suárez.