Women's self-esteem: a matter of age

[Jultxxxyes]

We gain more confidence than men as we turn years, but we start in a worse position

 

Trust is a matter of long travel. The data confirm that women gain more self-esteem than men as we turn years, although it is also true that we started in a worse position. This is the conclusion reached by Jack Zenger and Joseph Folkman in an article published in June in the Harvard Business Review. The research carried out among 8,655 people, 44% men, reveals that women have less self-esteem and less security in ourselves than men until reaching 40 years. From then on, self-esteem is equated in both sexes. Women achieved our zenith at 60, managing to exceed the levels of confidence that men recognize at that age.

Self-esteem changes over time, it depends on each person and the experiences lived, but if we analyze the graph we observe that this variation is much more pronounced in the female sex. In general terms, self-esteem in men increases by 8.5 percentage points from 25 to 61 years, while that of women increases by 29 points, three times more. It seems that, to us, the process of loving ourselves takes us a little longer, possibly due to excessive self-demand that moves to many areas of our lives, such as when applying for a vacancy in a company or a new position of work.

"Men are hired for the expectations, women are hired for the results," explains Facebook CFO Sheryl Sandberg, based on her experience of hiring teams. The reason is due precisely to the different levels of self-esteem we have. In general, women need to be more sure that we meet all the requirements that are requested when we aspire to a position. We could say that we are more prudent. "Maybe I am not ready yet"; “I need to know more for what they are asking for”; or “Total, if they won't give it to me…”, are some of the comments that summarize what happens to us. Obviously, in every generalization there are exceptions, but this brake is usually more common among women, as Zenger and Folkman show. A trend that, personally, I have been observing for years in the programs of female talent in which I participate.

Men do not seem to have so many reservations to take the plunge. They are more confident in their ability to learn the requirements they may lack. And it makes sense: the more faith you have in yourself, the more personal capacity you will express in the face of difficulties and in your possible learning.

In conclusion, the art of learning to love oneself lasts a lifetime. Each person lives their own process, but it is a shame that women have such a low starting point. Not so much for comparison with men, but for ourselves. Our very hard self-demand prevents us from experiencing certain things, leads us to suffer from the impostor syndrome more often than men and makes us move worse in ambiguous negotiation environments that require high confidence, as recognized by Iris Bohnet, a professor at the University of Harvard The objective is to know the starting point, realize the improvement path we have and start working on it without delay for the simple pleasure of enjoying the advantages of believing in the same.