[lifestyle ] Should pregnancy be a public matter?

[_Happy boy]

Pregnancies are often big milestones in people’s lives, an occasion to celebrate whether it’s our near and dear ones or actors like Kareena Kapoor Khan, Anushka Sharma, we can’t help but share in their joy. For their pregnancy conforms to the expectations of the society, and therefore is celebrated. But as soon as it was insinuated that singer Neha Kakkar was sporting a baby bump within 2 months of her marriage, people on the internet broke out in furore and weren’t as approving. To clarify, the baby bump is just a part of her new song’s promotions and she is not actually pregnant. But the stunt confronts us with the arbitrary yardsticks employed by the society in deciding to celebrate or shame someone’s most intimate and personal decisions and choices.

Vani Subramaniam, Counseling Psychologist and relationship expert, says, “In a picture of one of India’s most loved playback singers on the internet, where she possibly looks pregnant has invited over 70000 comments across social media platforms. While many have been congratulatory in nature, there are several that have asked questions and demanded answers of the couple to explain their choice and the timeline of events.”

A celebrity, by virtue of being a public figure, is fated to public glare, with fans and naysayers watching them keenly, observing everything they do, speculating about their lives. With that comes mocking, taunting, and sneering but where does the voyeurism stop.

Kanika Khosla, psychologist, says, “Pregnancy, sex life, marriage, vacations, honeymoon, etc are all private affairs.  It is not uncommon for you and your friends to post pictures related to similar huge events of their respective lives. Pre-marital sex, intercourse and live-in relationships have also become increasingly uncommon among Indians and we embrace this ‘western lifestyle’ when we see our near and dear ones doing it, praise parents and refer to them as ‘modern parents who do not chide people on their choices and decisions.”

She further  questions the society, “So why can we not do the same when it comes to a public figure, celebrity or a known person. Why do we become stringent in our thoughts and reject the idea of looking at them through the same lens.”

Netizens think their approval holds merit. But isn’t the timespan between a couple’s marriage and pregnancy their business and no one else’s. The trolling and speculations about when she got pregnant or maliciously guessing the reason behind her marriage is a violation of the basic reverence for another person’s decisions.

 Vani adds, “While we may feel deeply connected to and concerned about our reel life heroes, it is crucial to remember that they are people who have their own lives and choices, even if available to far more public scrutiny.”

She sums it up, “Our fascination with the world of cinema and the details of their everyday life may give us an illusion of choice and power in their personal lives, but we must remember those boundaries and respect their space.”