[Lifestys] 2020 will be my first Christmas as a single mom. Here's how I'll survive it during a pandemic

[SliCeR]

“Mama, how many sleeps until Santa comes?”

I look at my seven-year-old daughter; her eyes are alive with excitement and her smile reveals her missing front tooth. It’s only a matter of time before the other one falls out. When it does, I know I will indulge in a good cry. My baby with the gummy grin is long gone.

The young girl before me still believes in St. Nick—for now. By this time next year, she might not, and as her mother, I want to do everything in my power to make this time of year extra-magical and memorable for her.

Why?

Because this is my first Christmas as a single mom.

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If you had asked me last year if I thought my marriage would crumble amidst the chaos and loss of a global virus, I would have called the idea farfetched. If you had told me my little family of three would be split down the middle, I wouldn’t have believed it.

Yet here we are.

“Fifteen,” I finally answer her, counting down the days in my own head to see how much time I have left to mentally prepare for the holidays. 

It’s always been such a special time of year for me, ever since I was a little girl growing up. I remember my sister and I laying out our stockings, waking up at five in the morning, nearly bursting from the thrill of it all. Waiting for my parents to get up so we could head downstairs and see all the gifts Santa had delivered.

Once my daughter came along, I wanted to continue some of the same traditions I had grown up with, like my dad reading “The Night Before Christmas” after we left out some cookies and milk for St. Nick.

My ex’s family always celebrated on Christmas Eve, however, so sometimes we would get home quite late, and my daughter would be half-asleep and worn out, in no mood to put out food or hear an old-fashioned story. The lack of time that night always hurt my heart a bit, and I knew I had the next day to follow our other Christmas traditions as we celebrated with my side of the family.