What is "stalkerware", the dangerous software that allows you to spy on your partner and is increasingly used?

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Amy says it all started because her husband seemed to know intimate details about his friends. "I used to drop things when we were talking, like knowing that Sarah had a baby. Really private things that I shouldn't have known."

"If I asked him how he knew those things, he would tell me that I had told him and accused me of losing my mind," he says. Amy (not her real name) also began to wonder why her husband knew where he was at all times.

"Sometimes he said that he had seen me at a café with my friends and that I had happened by chance. I started to question everything and not trust anyone, not even my friends." For months, these kinds of incidents escalated, turning what was already an abusive marriage into a nightmare that came to a chilling end after a Halloween family trip.
Daily report

"We had visited a pumpkin patch and we were rarely having a good weekend, which basically means that my husband had not caught it with me. Our 6 year old was playing on the floor and was very happy," she recalls. Amy.

"My husband passed me his phone to show me a photo he had taken on the farm and in that fraction of a second I saw an alert appear on his screen. It said:‘ Amy's daily report on Mac is ready. "

"I felt a chill run through me and I stopped breathing for a minute. I had to apologize and pretended I needed to go to the bathroom. I had to be there for my son and pretend I hadn't seen anything."

"As soon as I could, I went to the library to use the computer and look for the spyware he had used. It was then that it all made sense after months of thinking I was going crazy."

Stalkerware, also known as spouseware, are powerful surveillance software programs that are generally openly sold on the internet. Get access to a device to read all messages, record screen activity, track GPS locations, and use cameras to spy on what an individual does.

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According to cybersecurity company Kaspersky, the number of people who discovered this kind of software on their devices increased by at least 35% in the last year. Kaspersky researchers say their protection technologies have detected stalkerware on 37,532 devices so far this year.

And chief security researcher David Emm says this is the "tip of a very large iceberg." "Most people will routinely protect a laptop or desktop computer, not many people actually protect a mobile device," he says.

"This information comes from our product [smartphone] facilities ... so this figure doesn't even come close to what the total would be." Kaspersky's findings indicate that Russia is the country with the highest levels of stalkerware activity. It is followed by India, Brazil, the United States and Germany.
How to protect yourself?

Another security company says there are practical steps that people can take if they suspect they are being spied on. "It is always wise to check what apps are on your phone and do a virus scan when necessary, and if there is an app on your device that you don't recognize, it is worth looking for information on the internet and removing it if necessary," says Jake. Moore, of the company Eset.

"As a general rule, if you're not using an app, delete it."
Woman on phone
Photo: Getty Images

Tips to avoid being a victim:

    1. Don't leave your device alone. Many softwares need physical access.

    2. Do not use the fingerprint reader so that it is not unlocked when you sleep.

    3. Download a security app. Antiviruses can detect spyware.

Source: BBC

Once Amy realized that her computer had been affected, she developed a great mistrust towards technology, which she is only now overcoming. Charities say this is a common psychological response to trauma like that.

Jessica is another stalkerware victim. Her ex-husband regularly spied on her through the microphone of her phone and played with her mind by repeating specific phrases that she and her friends had used in private conversations. Years have passed since he escaped from that relationship, but he still leaves his phone in the car when he goes to see his friends.
Impact for life

Gemma Toynton of Britain's anti-domestic abuse organization Safer Places says she detects this long-term effect in many of the cases she handles.

"It reduces someone's confidence," he explains. "It makes them see a phone or a laptop as a weapon, because that's what it was used for."

"The technology has become, in their minds, a network that surrounds them and many people stop using the internet." "It really impacts your entire life. The fact that this stalkerware is on the rise is a real concern."

Amy is now divorced and lives many miles away from her ex-husband. He has a restraining order that prevents him from direct contact with her and he is legally allowed to communicate the logistics of caring for his son only by letter.

Amy says more must be done to legislate against the use of these technologies. "They must stop hiding behind plausible denial," he says.

"There is a wink when companies send out this little notice that goes like this:‘ We don't approve of you spying on wives. Sin However, they know what their customers are doing. This software causes real harm. "