Four ways to generate positive emotions at home

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If we want to educate in happiness, we need to teach our children to manage their emotions. Work must start at home. You can not delegate the task to schools or trust that teachers will solve this very important subject for life. Nor should we wait for our children to be adults to learn how to do it. The challenge begins at home and with the commitment of the parents.

Positive emotions are more elusive than negative ones. Studies on the world of the couple reveal that every unfortunate comment in a discussion has to be compensated with five positives. The ratio is one to five. That is why it is so important to emphasize positive emotions: fear, anger or sadness have such power that they are able to deactivate joy. If we start from this premise, educating in the management of emotions involves creating homes where positive emotions are fostered despite the difficulties that surround us. Let's see how to do it with simple tricks, available to any family.

1. Pay attention to the topics we speak most frequently. Our conversations define us. If we are always complaining about work or the situation in the country, we will be creating an environment of tension and concern that children will find it difficult to overcome. The interpretation of the world they make depends on how we transfer it. If we need to talk about a problem we have to approach it from the actions we are going to take to solve it. Or from the learning we get. It is different to say "how little I like my job" to recognize "I don't like my job very much, but it also offers me positive things." Or propose "I will look for solutions to my work, so that I like it more". Staying anchored in the complaint empties us ... and empties those around us.

2. Let's be quick to ask for forgiveness. We are all wrong. Being parents is a difficult task that, many times, arouses guilt. We argue, we have bad days and we feel bad because we have not arrived in time to help our children with their homework. In those cases it is worth apologizing. If we like our children to do it, we have to set an example and keep our pride in a drawer. In this way, we get the little ones to live the error in a more natural way.

3. Let's talk about achievements and effort. It is advisable to congratulate our children with sincerity, even for a drawing he has brought from school. The recognition must be about the results and the effort, since they will not always get what they set out to do. When things do not go well it is advisable to help them include the word "still." When they tell us "I don't know how to make a puzzle", for example, we have to teach them to say: "I don't know how to do the puzzle yet". That way, we get them to train the growth mentality and positive emotions.

4. The three thanks of the day. The psychologist Tal Ben-Shahar, a professor at Harvard University and an expert in happiness, recommends that before bed we appreciate the three positive things that have happened to us throughout our journey. We can put it into practice during dinner, when we read a story to our children or when we kiss him good night. The purpose is very clear: incorporate the habit of seeing the glass half full and not half empty, something that is essential to transform negative emotions into positive ones.