Delivering a Christmas tree from Scotland to London in a Suzuki Jimny

[Wolf.17]

Last year’s festive foliage was delivered from a hillside in Argyll to the Autocar office in Twickenham atop Aston Martin’s athletic bruiser of a GT, the DB11 V12, which devoured its task as does a local council woodchipper on the 13th day of Christmas. Choosing a different route would be easy, and a different tree was a given because 2017’s might well have become pages of Autocar magazine. 

But what could trump the Aston? This time, off-road skills would be helpful so we could source our tree from a wilder spot, and 2018 had delivered some fascinating new high-riding, all-paw contenders: Urus, Cullinan, new G63 and I-Pace, to name a few. Ultimately, the choice was simple, and it didn’t hail from Sant’Agata, Goodwood, Affalterbach or Whitley, but from Kosai, Shizuoka Prefecture, which has produced a budget car to draw more affection than any of those pricey and aspirational machines. Yes, our hero’s name is Jimny. 

The fourth generation of Suzuki’s min pin of a 4x4 has united motoring journos in lustfulness more than would the prospect of a complimentary branded fleece. It’s a genuine performer on the rough stuff and brings enough visual charm and value for money for most to overlook its inevitable on-road compromises. But how would it fare over more than 500 miles of mud, rock and Tarmac – and with its own length in Christmas tree strapped to its roof? 

The fourth generation of Suzuki’s min pin of a 4x4 has united motoring journos in lustfulness more than would the prospect of a complimentary branded fleece. It’s a genuine performer on the rough stuff and brings enough visual charm and value for money for most to overlook its inevitable on-road compromises. But how would it fare over more than 500 miles of mud, rock and Tarmac – and with its own length in Christmas tree strapped to its roof? 

So far, the 1.5-litre petrol four’s 100bhp and 95lb ft have been channelled rearwards, but shifting the overtly mechanical transfer lever from ‘2H’ to ‘4H’ engages drive to the front axle, then the ‘All Grip Pro’ system’s electronics lock the front air hubs to get those otherwise free-spinning wheels milling too. 

We slide about a bit on sodden patches of loam, but the 50:50 front-rear torque split and LSD-mimicking brake trickery make light work of it. There’s almost more of a challenge in keeping the Jimny’s tiny 1405mm track abreast of the trail’s raised centre. 

Ascending into the hills, we pass a herd of deer blending subtly into the autumn-washed drumlins of the wide, glaciated valley. Our Jimny’s shocking Kinetic Yellow paintwork couldn’t stand out more, yet it feels entirely at home here, happy to be driven in wellies and to get mucky inside and out. We fringe a pair of windswept lochans, engaging low range with a standstill shuffle of the transfer lever, thereby doubling the gearing to tackle a quick-fire progression of pebbles, sand and water. 

Frozen pools smother the trail, and we send shards of ice into the verge like smashed glass. The potholes are relentless now and the Jimny pitches about at all angles, its live axles and diminutive 2250mm wheelbase conspiring to amplify every rut and rock. Hill descent control (limited to 3mph in low range) then ushers us down a steep slope, the brakes gnawing at each corner to keep progress steady. 

Then it’s through an exposed riverbed of big, slippery rocks. I wait for the underbody thud as we tackle the boulders, but it never comes. The Jimny’s 210mm of ground clearance is enough and its tight turning circle and slow steering allow an accurate course to be plotted, while that short wheelbase brings a greater breakover angle than on Brown’s Defender. Likewise, while the 110’s tail is in danger of striking masonry climbing the far bank, the Suzuki’s minute rear overhang clips past with ease. It gets thrown around like a rag doll as we scale the exit point, but a big dose of revs lets the brakes work their torque-routing magic and we grapple up and out first time. What a little trooper. 

The Jimny’s off-road skills confirmed, we loop around to Laggan Wolftrax, a mountain-biker’s paradise managed by Forestry Commission Scotland, to source our special payload. Last year’s Norway spruce shed its needles within moments of landing in Twickenham – whether from homesickness or a 759-mile rooftop battering, we’re unsure – so this time we’ve chosen something less traditional but more robust in the form of a sturdy Lawson cypress. 

Edited December 23, 2018 by # F e r h á t ™ ♕