Funny Football StoriesΞ Will and Guy's Funny Football Stories

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Football History - First Football Story

Dr Maria Hayward, an expert at Southampton University, has discovered that Henry VIII - the Tudor King who had six wives, owned a pair of football boots.

These shoes, costing four shillings [approximately £100 in today's money] were made by his personal shoemaker, Cornelius Johnson, in 1525.

Dr Hayward found them in a list of the king's clothes made when he died in 1547.

Sadly we don't know what the football boots looked like so we cannot compare them with those worn by David Beckham or Ronaldo.  However, it is not likely they were anything like the boots worn today.  Historians think they were probably heavier than the normal shoes of the time and made of especially strong leather.

They needed to be strong because football during the 16th century, when Henry VIII was king, was a very tough game. 'Football in Tudor times was a very vicious game, with no teams and no rules, so it was not a game for gentlemen, 'comments Dr Hayward.  According to a Tudor writer called Sir Thomas Elyot, it was a game of 'beastly fury and extreme violence'.

It is known that it was especially po[CENSORED]r on Shrove Tuesday (Pancake Day) and Henry VIII even tried to ban the game because it so often led to riots and violence.

Behaviour generally, it appears, has improved over the ages!Peter Crouch - Bullet header

Peter Crouch Causes Slump of Wide-screen T.V.

Sales of Wide Screen T.V. plummet.  The reason England fans realize that they cannot see all of Peter Crouch on the 1333 x 768 pixel models.

The answer is the revolutionary 1333 x 3413 pixel model that Will and Guy are seeking to franchise.

Peter Crouch first came to Will's attention playing for his local team Portsmouth.  As you may know Crouch at 6' 7'' is the tallest footballer playing in the top flight.  We predict that his aerial domination will play a crucial part in England winning World Cup 2010 in South Africa.

Goran Granic - Looses His Bite

A Croatian football star says his team are losing matches because he can no longer commit fouls since finding God.

Hajduk Split defender Goran Granic has come in for a storm of criticism for abandoning his trademark hard tackles on opponents.

But Granic has now revealed his Catholicism is behind his softer style of play.

He told daily newspaper Slobodna Dalmacija, 'I'm so devoted to God now that I have started to avoid committing fouls during matches. God has created football for fun and relaxation. He would not like players to commit harsh fouls.'

He added, 'I could probably have saved some key goals during the season, including in the Champions League qualifying games, if I had committed fouls to stop players scoring.'

Hajduk Split are reigning Croatian champions but this season they failed to qualify for the Champions League and are currently fifth in the Croatian league.

 

Footnote:
Please write to Will and Guy if you have any funny football stories.