[Lifestyle] Matters of the Mind: Conscious cognition

[Dr_-_PiKaChU]

 

When we find ourselves hurting over an incident, pouring our eyes out to what was said (or not said) to us, we are so fused with the event, entangled with the other person or with the conflict that we fail to recognise the real cause of pain. The truth is we respond not to the event, but to our view or perception of the event. We cry not over the attack or conflict, but the meaning we attach to it.

 

My studies, training, science, experience and practice taught me to believe in cognitive theory which focuses on our thoughts. This school of thought helps us recognise the voice in our head–our intrusive, incessant compulsive thinking, which is conditioned, prejudiced, rigid and irrational due to previous learning. Once we identify our self-dialogue and replace it with effective thinking, we feel and behave in healthier ways.w

 

As a child, I was a very well adjusted kid who grew up in a boarding school, with performance and survival at the centre of my universe. I could swear I was happy. It was in adult life when I faced a major crisis–several feelings tore through my being. I recognised abandonment, rejection, and betrayal and knew that there was a reason why I chose these perceptions of the current crisis and not others. My baggage lay exposed, leaving me fragile and frail, anxious about never having a safe home again.

I fought hard for many months with all my might to remind myself of the basic paradigms of cognitive therapy. I set reminders on my phone, wrote post its, put up print outs on my mirror, to “be in the present”, to think or have rational self-talk, to dispute cognitive errors, and replace irrationality with rational and effective philosophy every chance I got. This helped tremendously with functionality, productivity, focus, drive, and choices, but I wasn’t healing.

It was my turn to practice what I had been teaching for so many years. Rational cognition just wasn’t enough for relief and I started to dig deeper.

My childhood, strongly rooted in spiritual and religious teachings made me turn to spirituality, while still diligently practicing self-awareness and disputation in the cognitive sense.