LosT贼 Posted July 18, 2020 Posted July 18, 2020 12 phrases that parents are advised not to say Without a doubt, dedicated and loving parents only wish the best for their children. And it is because of this fact that they try to control their every step, constantly teaching and motivating them. Some phrases that sound harmless to adults can, however, harm the child's psyche. These are words that we usually say automatically, without even thinking, just because we have heard them from our parents. Based on the opinion of psychologists, Bright Side collects some of the phrases that may affect the lives of children in the future. "You can be what you want" Supporting children in choosing their hobbies and interests is good. However, research shows that if their ambitions are unrealistic, it can have a negative impact on them. They need to be aware that sometimes not everything happens the way they imagine it, and it is good to have a "plan B" in case they fail to fulfill their dream of a future career, for example. Not every child can become a talented surgeon, astronaut, or football star, even if he or she works hard to achieve that goal. And this is absolutely normal. The parents' task is to teach the child to be realistic and to set achievable goals, and to warn him that it is inevitable that there will be no disappointments in his life. "Even if you can't, you have to do it" If it is a physical activity, it can harm the child. This phrase is often spoken by parents who are trying to make their dreams come true (to become a ballerina or a famous and successful athlete) through their children. The child should only learn to listen to his body and respond adequately to pain and discomfort. "You're just like your mother / father" There is nothing wrong with comparing a child to a relative, but in a positive way. Unfortunately, however, these phrases usually have a negative connotation and criticize not only the child's but also the parent's behavior. This confuses the children and causes them to occupy either the father's side or the mother's side. "Your best. No one can compare to you" Even if uttered with love, such a phrase can have adverse effects on the child's self-esteem, as it may not dare to try something new for fear of failing and failing to meet his parents' expectations. "Eat broccoli, spinach, cauliflower, it's good" According to researchers at the University of Chicago, the word "healthy" has become synonymous with "not tasty" over time. This way, they can refuse to eat any healthy food without even tasting it. If you want your child to eat cauliflower, for example, it is better to say that it is delicious and crunchy. "Don't hit your brother, your sister" It is absolutely normal sometimes to experience negative emotions towards a certain person. Both children and adults may find it difficult to control their feelings, but this does not mean that it is impossible. And this is exactly what we need to teach our children - to accept emotions and to control their reactions. The phrases "don't beat your brother" or "don't insult your sister" are often not enough if the reason is not explained. No child will ever answer "Okay, no!". "Don't worry about bullshit" Do not underestimate your child's problems. Perhaps what is nonsense to you is of particular importance to him, even if it is a lost toy. When you show disregard for him, you may lose his confidence and refuse to turn to you for advice or help when the problem is really serious. "Let me help you" The child's ability to only determine when he really needs help and when he can cope is just one of the most important skills that he needs to acquire at an early age. "Don't touch this, you'll break it" Repeating this phrase often will only make your child feel restricted. It is very likely that if you say it, it will crack and break something just because you have set it at a subconscious level that it will happen. Subsequently, when he becomes an adult, he may be afraid to build a career, as he will fear that things will not work out as they should. If you are afraid that your child may break or ruin something of value, you better say "Watch this, I'm afraid it may break". "You're so smart" At first glance, this phrase may seem like a good way to praise your child. But this may make him think that he does not need to put much effort in order to succeed, since he has a natural talent. It is better to encourage the work and effort it puts into it. For example, "Work so hard on this project" or "I knew you would, because it took so much time and effort." "Mom's not crying. It's all right"
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